Day 33 of my captivity

From the Abu Dhabi Weekly newspaper:

“You know you’ve become acclimatised to Abu Dhabi when…”
· It’s acceptable, even desirable, to own a hummer.
· The need to go anywhere near Salam Street breaks you out in a cold sweat. I don’t know
· Making your own cup of tea seems like a massive hardship.
· The screech of breaks doesn’t alarm you anymore. They’re probably yours, after all.
· Zebra crossings are only worth observing if there’s an actual zebra on them.

· You can’t buy a bottle of milk without asking for the price with discount.
· You make left turns from the far right lane. Yes, very true
· You own eight cats, three dogs, and possibly a donkey too, all because you felt sorry for the numerous strays outside your apartment block.
· You plan a meeting for 10am and leave the office at 10:05.
· You will cheerfully take a cab to get to the other side of the street.
· You think scampering across a four-lane highway full of high-speed traffic is a perfectly normal way to get to the other side. Done that, reminds me of the game froger
· Going to the cinema requires a separate wardrobe of winter clothing to cope with the AC.
· You keep yourself sane when looking for a parking spot by pretending it’s a game of hide and seek, with the parking space looking for you.
· The sound of pumping music while driving along the Corniche has the same effect of a loud blast on the horn: move over, the boy racers are coming fast!
· Jet skis are as unremarkable as delivery mopeds. And indeed their absence is something worth commenting on when you go to the beach.
· Valet parking at the mall, the dental clinic or the hairdresser is so much easier than going to the bother of putting the thing into a parking space yourself. This is true
· You are seriously prepared to consider a rental consisting of a makeshift back-to-back villa conversion in a sea of rubble somewhere beyond the last street name you recognize. And you’re happy with a price approximating to 90 percent of your monthly salary.
· Lane discipline is something you associate only with esoteric goings on in English country byways.
· Seeing a camel no longer amuses you.